What Makes for Good Relationships? - Dare 2 Share
Helping youth leaders empower
students to reach their world.
Helping youth leaders empower
students to reach their world.

What Makes for Good Relationships?



I feel like we all should be ridiculously happy.  There has never been a time in history where so many have so much, yet at the same time we first-world citizens wallow in the mire of how cursed we are in our blessed state.

Why? I believe that deep down we actually know what the deal is—but in case you need a reminder of why everything’s amazing and nobody’s happy, check out this video from Dare 2 Share Ministries called “What Makes for Good Relationships?”

Have you ever felt like the kid in the video? It is absolutely true that good relationships are the key to happiness, which is why we have so much, yet we are plagued with depression and anxiety. Our material stuff overflows, but authentic connection is all too often nowhere to be found.

Ultimately, it’s our parents’ fault, you know. I’m not talking about your mom and dad—although we all tend to pass down our dysfunction to our children.

Our material stuff overflows, but authentic connection is often nowhere to be found.

I mean your original parents—mom and dad version 1.0 named Adam and Eve. They were created in perfect relationship, but because of their rebellion against God’s unspoiled design and blueprint for humanity, they activated a “messed up” chip in our brains that has plagued our relationships ever since:

The woman approached the tree, eyed its fruit, and coveted its mouth-watering, wisdom-granting beauty. She plucked a fruit from the tree and ate. She then offered the fruit to her husband who was close by, and he ate as well. Suddenly their eyes were opened to a reality previously unknown. For the first time, they sensed their vulnerability and rushed to hide their naked bodies, stitching fig leaves into crude loincloths. Then they heard the sound of the Eternal God walking in the cool misting shadows of the garden. The man and his wife took cover among the trees and hid from the Eternal God.

God (calling to Adam): Where are you?

Adam: When I heard the sound of You coming in the garden, I was afraid because I am naked. So I hid from You.

God: Who told you that you are naked? Have you eaten from the tree in the center of the garden, the very one I commanded you not to eat from?

Adam (pointing at the woman): It was she! The woman You gave me as a companion put the fruit in my hands, and I ate it.

God (to the woman): What have you done?

Eve: It was the serpent! He tricked me, and I ate (Genesis 3:6-13, The Voice).

We may point the finger at Adam and Eve for the wreckage of humankind today, but truth be told, we play out this very same scene every day of our lives.

We ignore and reject God’s clear directives for relating to Him and everyone else.

We cover up our faults and vulnerability with sarcasm and hypocrisy.

We hide from God when He calls us to forgiveness and restoration.

We blame everyone else for what is wrong with us.

And if there is no one else left to blame, we dump it on Satan—right?

But that is exactly why we feel betrayed and discouraged, but—praise God—that is what a relationship with Jesus Christ can heal.  He took on our rebellion, our faults, our hiding, and our blaming when He died on the cross.  He was broken so our brokenness could be made whole.

My friends, I hope that you find true and authentic life-giving relationships in your life through Jesus Christ and the new heart that He gives you as you trust in Him.

Jesus will walk with us as we try to pick up the pieces of a broken life and mend the damage.

But beyond that, you have many friends who are just like the student in the video.  The “room” of their lives has been shattered, and they really just want to walk out of their circumstances, because anything would be better than what they are experiencing.  What an amazing opportunity you have to show them what can happen if they would simply respond to the invitation Jesus gives:

Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends (Revelation 3:20, NLT).

Jesus will walk with us as we try to pick up the pieces of a broken life and mend the damage that’s been inflicted on us. He will “reset” the table of our lives and provide the most soul-satisfying sustenance you could ever imagine.

Play a part in reaching your friends who have been shattered by bad relationships by using this video as an opener for a deeper spiritual conversation.  If you’re a youth leader who would like to train your students in how to use this clip and others like it for maximum evangelistic impact, check out Dare 2 Share’s companion Salt…Creating Thirst curriculum here.

What makes for good relationships?  He makes for good relationships!


Flashpoint: Ignite Into Action

Plan out a time this week where you will sit down with a friend to check out the video, and pray beforehand for God to use this experience as a spiritual conversation starter that will open a door for you to share the gospel.


Accelerant: Fuel for THE Cause

Pray: Jesus, You stand at the door of our hearts and wait to be invited in.  Thank You for healing our broken relationships, and give us the courage to share this wonderful news with our friends who don’t know you.

Read: Ezekiel 36:26.  And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.

Get:  Salt…Creating Thirst curriculum. In this new, five week youth group resource, Greg Stier and Zane Black focus in on a different conversation starting Salt video clip each week. Each Salt lesson—

  • Walks students through the Biblical teaching on the topic addressed in the various YouTube Salt clips.
  • Helps students apply this Biblical truth to their own personal lives.
  • Provides specific follow up questions to ask friends to help take the conversation deeper.
  • Coaches students on how to sensitively transition to the cross of Christ.


Leader Discussion Guide

Big Idea: The “What Makes for Good Relationships” video clip is an excellent conversation starter to talk about how Jesus can heal our broken relationships, and it provides a great opportunity to share the gospel with our friends.

Key Scripture: Genesis 3:6-13

Discussion Questions:

  • What comments would you leave for the video?
  • How has Jesus helped you develop authentic relationships?
  • How do you think your friends will respond to the video?
  • How can you use this Soul Fuel to help you live out THE Cause at your school?

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