A large, brick house stood against the night sky at the end of a cul-de-sac. The muffled sounds of a guitar and 50 voices raised in worship fought through the walls of the structure, distantly reaching the outdoors. On the porch, an iron lamppost illuminated the tear-streaked faces of two teen girls gently rocking on a worn cedar porch swing.
Anxiety and confusion creased their foreheads as they wrestled through the crushing weight of their current circumstances.
Both girls had maintained a façade for the last 14 years. They grew up in “good” Christian families, and they were “good” Christian girls. They knew the right answers, but internally they were hot messes. The oozing volcano of addiction, anxiety, depression, and low self-image was about to erupt.
The “Good” Life
This was the world I lived in: I grew up in the church, knew the right answers, and appeared to be doing the right thing externally, but I didn’t believe it. I was exhausted from trying to maintain the face I presented to my parents, my church, and my teachers, but I was done. I gave up.
As the porch swing creaked and tears streaked down my face, I was finally honest with myself and with God. I couldn’t do it, not on my own.
My friend’s gentle hand reached out and rested on my knee. Joy came to my eyes as I heard and understood the Gospel for the first time in my life.
A lightbulb switched on. I didn’t know why, but I now understood that God desired to be in relationship with me. I knew in that moment that God could bring healing and restoration into my life.
As adoration took the place of apathy, I cried out: “Lord! I don’t know why you would love me and accept me, but I don’t want to live like this anymore. Help me! Save me! And change my heart.”
He did.
The Lord radically transformed my life that day, freeing me from the bondage of depression, addiction, and anxiety and changing me from the inside out.
This is what the Gospel of grace does. Christ offers us life—not a simple, surviving life, but a life that is full, vibrant, and flourishing.
‘The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.’
So the question is, for those of us youth leaders with students who are apathetic, grew up in the church, are homeschooled, or go to Christian schools—students for whom Christianity is just white noise or a dictated lifestyle they’re trying to power through on their own strength—what do we do?
How do we help them truly understand the Gospel of grace?
Combatting Cultural Christianity
How do we confront the apathy and the cultural Christianity we fight against every day? Cultural Christianity is a problem not just in the United States. It’s also a prevalent issue in Western Europe, according to Pew Research Center.
In Western churches, we’ve become really good at cleaning up. We can put on a face and act like everything is all sunshine and daisies, but we often lack authenticity in our relationships both inside and outside the church. (Now an argument could be made about how technology has influenced human connection, but that’s another article for a different time.)
The point remains the same: Works and performance (the cleaning up we do) water down the truth of the Gospel and allow apathy and religious ritual to seep into our churches and taint our perspective of God.
It’s what happened to me as a student. I based everything on my performance, but I could never measure up.
What would it take for us and our students to not just hear the Gospel but to experience its transformative power?
The Gospel of grace is simple yet profound. So, as you serve in student ministry at your church, interact with students in local schools, or casually converse in line at a coffee shop, remember these three things I wish my leaders had embraced and that I attempt to embrace as I disciple and encourage young women and students in my church.
1. Remind yourself of the Gospel daily.
The Gospel is for everyone—for you, for believers in the church, and for your gym friend Sam who doesn’t know Jesus yet.
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Your students may have heard the Gospel, but do they understand it and believe for themselves?
Do they know what Scripture says about grace? Do they receive and offer it freely? Or do they ostracize other people because they live “clean” or “pure” lives and others do not?
Scripture tells us “there is no one good, not even one” (Romans 3:10) and our “righteous acts are like filthy rags” (Isaiah 64:6).
Our students must recognize that they need a savior. Apathy can turn into adoration only when they recognize that they’re totally depraved apart from Christ.
2. Seek to understand.
Your students don’t need you to lay out a list of rules for them to follow in life. (Although you should definitely lay some ground rules in your youth room.)
They already feel the pressure from their parents, their teachers, and their concept of religion.
Ask good questions, and seek to hear things from their perspective. Empathize with them, listening actively. Their world is changing, and it’s a lot different from the world you grew up in.
‘By this everyone will know you are my disciples, if you love one another.’
Care deeply, because as you invest in your students, they see the way you act, how you treat others, and what you do.
It speaks volumes more than what you say.
3. Speak the truth in love.
As curiosity grows and students open up, you establish trust. This gives you an opportunity to speak the truth in love.
Ground your words in Scripture, and point teens to the cross. That’s where God’s grace meets them.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Be encouraged by the fact that when you speak the truth in love, you’re looking out for students and their interests and encouraging them to flourish where the Lord has planted them.
It’s easy to get caught up in the religion, the ritual, and the routine when what truly matters is our relationship with Christ. It sounds cliché, but it’s true. When we follow religion without relationship, we’re left exhausted, depressed, and isolated.
But there’s hope! Because of Christ and His sacrifice on the cross, we, totally depraved and completely dependent on the Father, can run directly to Him.
So, let’s remind ourselves of the Gospel daily, seek to understand, and speak the truth in love to ourselves and our students.
