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Recipe for a Dysfunctional Family

Recipe for a Dysfunctional Family

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So what feelings come up inside you when you think about Christmas with your family? Excitement? Nausea? Excited nausea?

For many families, the mandatory 'get togethers' bring a holiday host of emotional responses that cover more territory than Santa ever dreamed of. I'm not sure if it's the combination of gift pressure, way too high calorie food, sheer numbers of red and green dressed human beings, or what.

It could be, perhaps, that our shoes are too tight. Or maybe our heads aren't screwed on just right. But I think that the best reason of all may be that our hearts are two sizes too small. (Thank you, Dr. Seuss!)

But whatever the reason, our heart or our shoes, sometimes Christmas brings the holiday blues.

Well if that's the case for you, I have good tidings of great joy. There's a holiday movie out this Christmas, amazingly enough titled This Christmas, that has a family that truly puts the 'diss' in dysfunctional. I'm not kidding folks, the fictitious family portrayed in this film carry more baggage than eight reindeer could ever bear, in fact I think their Christmas carol should go like this:

'You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why.'

So if you think you have it tough around the Christmas tree, just see this movie, and in about ten minutes you'll see your family in a whole new light.

Still, you must give props to any movie that unwraps affairs, sibling rivalry, career jealousy, power and money issues, family resentment, inter-racial marriage, unplanned pregnancy, gangsters, guns, secrets and sex at every turn and wraps it up with warm fuzzies and a dance number.

God bless us, every one!

Did you know that the Bible refers to Christianity as a 'family of faith'? Which is why the Bible also repeatedly calls all believers 'brothers' and 'sisters'.

Coincidentally, when I think of a dysfunctional family, I picture the church. Not just my local church, but THE church - as in all Christians everywhere. We make up what the Bible calls 'the body of Christ' (1 Corinthians 12:27), and one of the key concepts of the church is the whole idea of family:

Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone - especially to those in the family of faith. (Galatians 6:10)

So why do I think of God's family as dysfunctional? Because we are! Just because we trusted Christ and seek to follow Him doesn't mean that we don't have secrets and stinky behavior that continues to flow from our sinful nature. The problem is that oftentimes we are just like the Whitfield family in the movie This Christmas. We sit around and try to pretend that everything is great and we all have it together.

We don't.

Interestingly enough, the way the Whitfield family resolved their problems was to get everything out in the open and remember that no matter what, through thick and thin, families stick together.

Hmmm... sounds like a formula that might be good for the church as well - don't you think? In fact, this recipe is found in the same pages of the book that calls us family in the first place. Let me lay it out for you:

Start with a healthy dose of being real with each other:

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. (James 5:16)

Next, add in regular amounts of patience and forgiveness:

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13)

Throw in every effort to get along with each other, and let the stupid stuff go:

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (Romans 12:18)

Finally, find out where people are hurting, and come alongside them to help:

Share each other's burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)

Can you imagine a church family like this? One where people felt totally free to be themselves, and when the pimples on their souls start to show through the 'look at me I'm perfect' makeup, there would be no fear of judgment - rather forgiveness, patience, understanding, and help.

So this Christmas, think about This Christmas, that even though we are part of a dysfunctional family with terrible secrets, we have a Savior who came and died so we could work through our problems together and show the world what a happy ending truly looks like!

Head: What you need to know about this truth

All Christians belong to the family of God, and our family would get along much better and be effective for Jesus if we followed the Bible's commands for the church.

Heart: What you need to feel about this truth

Feel incredibly privileged to be part of a forever family that you will never lose.

Hands: What you need to do about this truth

Think through the 'family recipe' this week to see where you could improve and help your family be less dysfunctional.