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Never Never Never Never Never!

Never Never Never Never Never!

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When I was a little kid, I had an experience that has stayed permanently etched in the "little shop of horrors" section of my brain. It has to do with a trip to a store, clean up on aisle 13, and an overwhelming sense of fear and dread.

It started out normal enough with me accompanying my mom and brother on our weekly stock the cupboards trip to the local grocery. There I was, toting behind the rest of the family unit debating on how many times I could possibly be told "no" in the space of an hour, when I heard an interesting announcement:

"Clean up on aisle 13 - repeat - clean up on aisle 13!"

Suddenly my mind began to race...what needed cleaning up? Could it still be edible after being on the floor past the 2 second rule? Would someone be permanently banned from the store for wasting food when there are starving kids in Africa?

This series of questions then led to an irresistible desire to check out for myself the actual "clean up" situation. As expected, I thought my mom and bro would share the same curiosity, so imagine my surprised face when I arrived at the scene of the slime only to turn around and find that I was alone. Suddenly my interest in the natural food disaster became less interesting, and all I wanted was to find my fam in (what seemed like) the biggest place in the world.

For what seemed like an eternity I searched up and down each aisle, only to find adults with concerned faces and Captain Crunch staring back at me. For a brief time, I honestly and truly felt abandoned. It was one of the loneliest and most forsaken times I have ever experienced (plus to this day the "clean up on aisle..." announcement makes me want to weep uncontrollably).

I think one of the biggest fears that most people have is being forsaken and/or abandoned by those we are counting on. I know that most studies show that folks are mainly afraid of public speaking and death, but that's because we really don't want to admit that life holds a real possibility that you will be left in the lurch by someone you love.

Bad move, because we need to admit it - and I'll admit to you that it's a fear of mine as well - but I want to share with you a truth that just may change your whole perspective on this whole abandonment issue.

The truth is that you have two choices when it comes to this fear. Choice #1 is to let it trap you into a life of clinginess and codependence that (ironically enough) are the things that drive people out of relationships in the first place. Or the other trap is to lock up your heart so tight that God Himself couldn't break through. Either one is a bad situation and I'll tell you why. If you completely cut yourself off from others, you will end up with a life worse than being abandoned in the first place. Here's the way C.S. Lewis put it:

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one. Not even an animal. Wrap it carefully with hobbies and luxuries, avoid all entanglements and keep it safe in the casket of your selfishness. But in the casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."

The opposite of this is bad as well...because if you put all your eggs in the human relationship basket, you set yourself on a path to idolatry. Eventually that person or group will become your "god" - and as it turns out, God is not super pleased when we let someone or something else take His place...remember the first commandment?

"You shall have no other gods before me" (Exodus 20:3)

Why does God command this? Because He made us, and He knows exactly what we need. What we need is choice #2, which is to let our fear of abandonment drive us to freedom - freedom, that is, to look to God for our ultimate security and trust. In other words, put all your eggs in the God relationship basket, and you will never be abandoned.

How do I know? Because I know - and also because the Bible tells me so!

"I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself." (Jeremiah 31:3)

I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one will snatch them away from me, for my Father has given them to me, and he is more powerful than anyone else. So no one can take them from me. (John 10:28-29)

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

Notice the words and phrases in these promises from God:

  • "everlasting love" - as in a love that will never go away
  • "no one will snatch them away from me" - as in our relationship with God is as secure as God's power - which is the highest power in the universe
  • "nothing can ever separate us from his love" - as in you can trust God with every ounce of your eternal soul, because His love is going to be around for every minute of your eternal life.

As if those promises weren't enough, here's the one that caps it off for me:

I will never fail you. I will never forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5)

In the Greek this verse has a double negative that occurs twice and there is another negative that occurs once. This makes a total of five negatives in one verse! It could be translated as follows:

I will (1) never (2) ever leave thee, (3) no, I will (4) never (5) ever forsake thee.

This means if you have trusted Christ as your only hope of salvation, you have a personal and permanent relationship with the One who made you, died for you, and is coming back for you. Our relationships with people come and go, but your relationship with God is here to stay. Let your fear of abandonment drive you into a reckless abandonment of yourself into the arms of Jesus.

Head: What you need to know about this truth

God will never leave us or forsake us, therefore we can completely trust Him to meet our physical, spiritual, and emotional needs.

Heart: What you need to feel about this truth

Secure - both in your relationship with God and in your relationship with others. Because you can trust God completely to completely meet your needs, you now have the freedom to love others unconditionally. You should also feel confident that even though the universe seems against you, the God of the universe isn't.

Hands: What you need to do about this truth

Take a long, hard look at where your relationships are at. Are there people in your life who are taking the place of God? Are there friends who you expect never to leave you or forsake you? I hate to break it to you, but they probably will - and that's not necessarily a bad thing! The key is to make sure that you have God as first place in your life - then all the rest of your relationships will fall into their proper place.