skip to content

Hole Thing

"Hole Ting."

That's what my two-year-old says. He has developed the habit of wanting it all. My wife will often offer him a spoonful of food from her plate. I will break off a piece of what I am eating and hand it to him. He shakes his head. He emphatically says,

"Hole Ting."

He doesn't want a piece. He doesn't want a spoonful. He wants the whole thing. I wondered, "Where did he get such behavior?" Who taught him that? Where did he pick it up?

Hole Ting?

Why didn't he want to share? Why wasn't he satisfied with what was given to him? Wasn't the piece sufficient? The piece was plenty and he could get as many as he could eat. Why did he want the whole thing? Was he acting like a child or an adult?

As I watched other children, I saw that it was more innate for children to want the whole thing. They wanted the whole toy without sharing. They wanted all of mama's attention. They wanted the swing or the tricycle all of the time.

Hole Ting.

Many of the conflicts and wars are over the same thing. People don't want to share. They want it all.

Hole Ting.

It's not just for kids anymore.

(From MountainWings.com – The Daily Inspirational Email)

I would wager that this story hits a little closer to home than most of us would like to admit. It's cute when two year olds act that way, but sorta sad when they never outgrow it.

Can you recall what follows quickly on the heels of the wanting the 'hole ting'? Here's what the brother of Jesus had to say about it:

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight." (James 4:1-2)

What James is saying is that selfish behavior was supposed to be outgrown about the same time as diapers- and if you're still acting selfishly, don't be surprised by the mess you leave behind in your relationships.

Isn't it amazing how so many Christians complain about not having the deep friendships they 'deserve', but they are the same ones who live by the creed of the hole ting? Duh!

Here's a very valuable exercise for you to do...think back on the last time you were in a fight with someone- and remember, I'm not talking about a healthy conflict where you were resolving an important issue. What I mean is those all-out rock-em sock-em low blowing verbal assaults. My guess is that somewhere in all your self-justifying "wish I would have said" memory lies the core of your contention:

Hole Ting.

You wanted your way, but you didn't get it. You desired the spotlight, but nobody turned it on. Someone dared make a mistake that hurt your feelings- now you will make them pay.

You know what the real problem is? There is nothing on this earth that really represents the hole ting...only God can provide that- which is why you need to stop looking to everyone around you to meet the needs that are on Jesus' job description. That's the funny thing about it- the more you concentrate on considering others more important than yourselves, the more your own needs will be met.

So you want the hole ting? Try making yourself no thing...it's not just for Jesus anymore.

Questions:

  1. In what area(s) of life do you struggle with selfishness?
  2. How often do you get into fights with people?
  3. What is one way you could look to God to better meet your needs?